22 very funny and supremely handy alternate responses to “how are you?” when you’re not, in fact, good

It’s the most basic of small talk interactions, especially at work: “How are you?”

But, some days, you’re just not feeling it and you need a more accurate (or honest) response than just “I’m OK/good/fine.”

Luckily, there are some great suggestions here, care of Reddit user @Travelerofhighland86 who asked:

“What is a good response to ‘how are you’ if you’re not good?”

1.

“One guy said to me… ‘Can’t complain’. And we laughed a little bit. Then as I was walking away he shouted ‘IF I DID WHO WOULD LISTEN!’ That could work.”
-Maestro1992

2.
“‘Oh, you know’. Is my go to. And yeah, instantly change the subject. Although, last week, someone asked if that was my way of avoiding actually answering the question, & I said you know it.”
-jesterinancientcourt

3.
“I use ‘Living the dream, or someone’s anyway’.”
-dannywarbucks11

4.
“I always say ‘Living the dream, one nightmare at a time’.”
-KwameBrownsBurner

5.
“I say living the dream. Then if they say ‘are you sure?’ I follow with ‘I didn’t say it was a good dream’ and that usually gets people off my back.”
-lovelanguagelost

6.
“‘Vertical and ventilating’ is the best response I’ve heard.”
-GrandeCappuccino

7.
“‘still alive and kicking’ is my go to.”
-Catfist

i’m alive by celine dion (2002) dir. dave meyers pic.twitter.com/o2XMEwvcIT

— popculture (@notgwendalupe) February 5, 2024

8.
“‘Still golfing on this side of the grass’.Source: My Grandma.”
-QuickBenTen

9.
“‘Tired’
From what i can tell this is the closest you can get to saying “bad” without making anything awkward bc everyone is tired so they’ll just laugh and be like ‘haha me too’.”
-Jennazed

10.
“‘Surviving’ is my go to when I’m in a shit place.”
-SparkleEmotions

11.
“‘Still swimming’.
From ‘Finding Nemo’, you’ve just got to keep swimming.”
-Jef_Wheaton

“When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming.”

Finding Nemo, 2003 pic.twitter.com/KXR0rfcHu5

— ❁ ❁ ❁ (@dnnydevito) June 23, 2016

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